


Within our time

by Skydancer8



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Cancer, Chemotherapy, Comfort, Death, Diabetes, Friendship, Hospital, Leukemia, Nurse - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Sad, Sibling, Tumor, diphtheria, patients, sick, treatment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-09-16 07:42:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16949850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skydancer8/pseuds/Skydancer8
Summary: When he wakes up in a hospital hooked to a dialysis machine, Mark thinks his life would continue with him bedridden with a bunch of  wilting flowers by his bedside. However, he finds himself getting emotionally attached to his roommate who shines as bright as the sun.Would friendship remain within those who are dying?(Completed)





	1. Chapter 1

It all started when his brother found him vomiting in the toilet at exactly 3am, and fainting from nausea afterwards. The last thing he heard was the frantic voice of his said brother, Taeyong, begging him to stay awake.

Of course the world would find a truly funny way to mess with his life, after months fending off without his parents who went out for a business trip and occasionally sleeping over at his friend Lucas's house during the weekend in order to avoid raising the water bills.

All of that hard work ended him with his waking up, feeling like a lump of mash potatoes and staring as his blood ran through tubes from his arm.

The sight of that should have made him faint again if Taeyong hadn't appeared out of nowhere and pulled him into a one way hug, since Mark felt too tired to raise his own arms. The sight of the white walls and the smell of detergent in the air gave him enough clues on where he was.

"Mark Lee" Taeyong breathed out. "You scared me to death...I thought I lost you-"

It would have been in the moment for Mark to reply with "I would never leave you, hyung" and sob along with him but with himself hooked up to a machine that was literally drawing blood (possibly?) from his arm, he could only imagine himself with his sobbing brother and pathetic wilting flowers by his bed as he died a lonely death. 

"What's wrong with me?" he asked quietly as Taeyong pulled away while thanking the universe for sparing him. "What's the machine for?"

Taeyong looked over and tapped the machine with two fingers. "Thid, buddy, is replacing your kidneys for the time being. You have kidney failure"

Mark was doomed.

At least, thats what he felt like. He was gonna be confined to a bed with a machine cleaning his blood while waiting for a donor that may or may not appear. Suddenly, the scene in his mind became more clearer and he felt a sob rising up his throat.

_"In the meantime, you're blessed with my presence"_

Mark made a motion to sit up and as Taeyong helped him, he looked at the boy currently sitting cross-legged on a hospital bed near his own. A tube went under his nose and over his ears, hinting towards a breathing problem. His skin was caramel and sunkissed, rather unique and non-stereotypical for a hospitalized kid. His eyes would be called 'sleepy' if not for the mischief and stubbornness that ignited in them like a spark of flame.

"That-" Taeyong gestured towards the boy who was now putting down a manga he was reading. "- is your roommate"

"Donghyuck" the boy offered. "But everyone calls me Haechan"

"Donghy-Haechan?" Mark blinked in confusion, suddenly feeling strength in his spine as he sat straighter and turned to dangle his legs at the side of his bed. "That's...different"

Haechan rolled his eyes and made a big gesture towards himself. "Well, obviously, its a nickname. It means 'full sun' if your foreign brain can't figure that out yet"

Taeyong looked at him in surprise. "How did you know that? The nurses told you, didn't they?"

Haechan pressed a finger to his lips and raised both his arms, tilting his head back. "You are now blessed by the geniusness of mastermind Haechan" he scoffed and shot a look at Taeyong. "He doesn't look korean, you don't look alike, and he seems like a confused baby next to you."

Mark spluttered. "You speak as if you're older than me"

"He always does that" came a solemn voice as Haechan's nurse walked in. "Sorry, for being late. I have Mark's nurse with me"

Taeyong leaned in to whisper into Mark's ear. "This hospital sure has a lot of hot boy nurses. I didn't think that nursing was a thing"

"Hello, I'm-" His name rolled off his tongue and they all sat in silence for a moment. "But...you can call me Ten. I'll be the one who's going to take care of you most of the time."

"H-hi" Mark managed to get out. 

"Don't have to be shy-shy" Haechan called out. "You're both foreigners anyway"

"Hyuck!!!" his nurse scolded but the boy stuck out his tongue and laughed. "Sorry about him. He's younger than you by one year, so he'll have to learn some respect"

"Anyway-" Ten pinched the bridge of his nose before smiling. "That's Doyoung. I'll be the person you'll see most of the time. There will be other nurses, so don't be shocked if someone else comes into the room."

Mark nodded and looked over at Taeyong. "The fee-"

"Hopefully, Mum and Dad will be back soon" Taeyong said. "I'll still check up on you...but I'll need to work more."

"But, hyung, you already have three" Mark replied and looked at his hyung with wide eyes. "You can't overwork yourself for me. That's _their_ job!"

"He has a point!" Haechan called out and they both turned to look at him. The playful smile in his eyes was gone and weariness took it's place. "He needs emotional support more than that."

Doyoung's face softened and he nodded. "He'll need his brother."

Taeyong looked back at Mark's face that looked so desperate. "I'll visit you when I can. I'll visit every week if possible."

"Stay over at Taeil-hyung's house. He'll understand" Mark pressed and Taeyong nodded.

"Try your best to get better,okay? You have Haechan and Ten, now"

Thus, the road of recovery began for Mark Lee who no longer went to boarding school, now confined to a bed that he now called home. Haechan looked at the two brothers interaction longingly before looking away, glancing at the phone beside his bed. 

 


	2. Hospital Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because we can't leave out the others ;) This is an introduction of the Dreamies as patients so you get to know the other characters.

"Hey, you awake?"

Mark rubbed his eyes as sat up uncomfortably, realizing that there was nothing except his IV attached to him. He must have finished his dialysis when he was sleeping. He felt fatigue thrum in his veins with every small movement. Haechan was dangling his legs off the side of his bed and grinning like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland.

"You're not wearing a breathing tube" Mark pointed out as Haechan stretched his arms. "I...do you not need it?"

Haechan gave him a look and rolled his eyes. "Well...I'm not exactly gasping for air right now. I'm feeling pretty awesome if that says anything, compared to you. You look like an overcooked potato"

Mark groaned and squinted through the bright lights. "What are you so excited for?"

"We-" Haechan jumped to his feet and unfolded a wheelchair. "-are gonna go meet the rest of our gang"

"Our gang-what?" Mark tilted his head in confusion as Haechan hurriedly pulled him onto the wheelchair. "Isn't Ten-hyung supposed to assist and stuff?"

Haechan shrugged and pushed Mark from behind and out their room. "Who cares? They have so many other patients to care for anyway. While we're on our way to the recreational room, do you have questions? Or are you still in a state of absolute confusion?"

"Who wouldn't in your presence?" Mark muttered to himself but Haechan managed to pick it up. He laughed out loud.

"Is that a compliment on my cute looks?" Haechan asked and started doing cutesy noises which made Maek appreciate the act that he would have to turn to look at him. 

"No, about your 'I had two cups of extra espresso coffee this morning' personality" 

Haechan laughed again. "Well, they don't call me 'full sun' for nothing"

Mark watched as Haechan greeted every nurse they passed and all of them lit up just by looking at him. Mark guessed that it was a normal occurrence for them to see the boy walking around early in the morning.

"If its not too personal, why are you in here?" Mark asked as they passed by a classroom that looked like it came straight out of a kindergarden. "You don't seem too bad"

"Well, Markie...I am way worse than you" Haechan stated with a bright tone. "I have, what you call, lung cancer"

"Aaaand...you're pushing my wheelchair."

"Yup"

When they got to the room, it seemed locked but Haechan walked to the door and knocked on it in the same rhythm of Anna knocking on Elsa's door.

"I GOT A NEW KID!!!"

The door burst open and Haechan proceeded to push Mark into the room. 

The room was very spacious and there were at four round tables with eight chairs around them each. The floor was matted and there were a few bean bags here and there, a game console in the corner and a rack of books and magazines. Chatting on the floor were a group of kids who looked near Mark's age.

"These, are the Dreamies...which would sound less childish if it meant those who have yet to dream of a future" Haechan rolled his eyes and helped Mark, who wobbled unsteadily, to sit down . "Well, guys, this is Mark Lee who was adopted from Canada."

"You didn't have to point that out specifically" Mark hissed and the other kids shared a knowing look.

One of the kids was named Jeno, and he had quite a  strong build. He looked maturer than his age that was one year younger than Mark and had a bad case diabetes. He was pretty charming to be honest and was once a dance major. He had almost lost his life after letting his sickness be treated at home and found better facilities at the hospital. 

Another kid was Na Jaemin who had the most beautiful smile that accompanied his bright personality. He seemed very intent on cuddling the person nearest to him and was pretty interesting to talk with, especially with his random facial expressions. He had leukemia and he wore a cute beanie that hid his shaved head, but it made him no less handsome.

The last kid was from China by the name of Huang Renjun. He had brain tumor but was supposedly going to get a surgery sooner or later. However, it gave him mood swings that made his personality unpredictable. Usually, the one to calm him down would be a nurse called Sicheng who would talk to him in Chinese to calm him down.

"Chenle is still visiting Jisung in the quarantine room." Jaemin said as they started a round of Zombie which was a pretty easy card game. "Jisung has diphtheria, the one that kinda makes your throat thick and stuff so he's away from germs. Chenle's an out patient who's here for Hemophilia treatment. He comes and hangs out with u, so he's in the Dreamies too"

"Just so you know, we still have school here but you don't have to go if you're just gonna sleep throughout it all." Jeno said and put out 3 Kings. "Or if you're gonna faint in the middle of maths."

"Which is a perfect strategy to get out of there after maintaining a reputation as a diligent student." Haechan added. "You go like you're so into studying, then, oh no, he fainted!!! Poor him!"

"Which wouldn't be funny if it was a serious case." Renjun pointed out and gave a knowing look at Jaemin. 

"It was just twice, and Jeno had agreed to help me too." Jaemin huffed and crossed his arms. "Anyway, how are you fending off, Mark-hyung?"

Mark shrugged and hid a smile as Renjun took the zombie card from him. "With Haechan as a roommate? He keeps my mind off of feeling ill"

"No homesickness?" Renjun asked.

"Well, I was studying in a boarding school, so I get used to being away from my family. My parents are overseas, so its just me and my bro" 

They continued their day by painting (which Renjun easily painted all of them as a variety of Moomin) and playing video games without rest. It was all going well if Renjun hadn't excused himself to go back to his room which Haechan later told Mark was a sign that he was going to have a seizure.

"It comes with the tumor" Jaemin said as he sat in Jeno's lap. "He feels insecure when other patients see him have one."

"Have you seen him have one?" Mark asked, as they packed up the game.

"In the middle of English class, and trust me, its terrifying the first time" Jeno replied in a soft tone. "His nurse is Sicheng-hyung but Kun-hyung also has to come over when he has one, because he'd have a mental breakdown once he wakes up. His parents are in China, so there's always this fear of dying before meeting them. Thank goodness the surgery is gonna be done eventually."

"And...how about your families?" Mark asked on. He just needed comfort, to be honest, since homesickness was starting to creep into his chest. "Do you miss them?"

Jeno and Jaemin nodded and they were silent for a moment. Mark looked over at Haechan who was pushing the CD casing's back into place.

"I don't have parents" he said softly and met Mark's eyes, smiling. "But I have a family here"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate comments and kudo's!!! Thanks for reading


	3. Silent cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mark find out how terrifying the hospital actually is.

Mark had never actually seen the bad side of being hospitalized other than the diets and machines that tire him to his bones. In all honesty, he was rather fond of the Dreamies and had started seeing them as family.

"Good to see you adjusting" Ten said as he placed a tray of food beside Mark. "Taeyong came to visit you earlier but you were asleep. Can't blame you, though. Dialysis is tough"

"Pity..." Mark replied and rubbed at his chest. Ten glanced at him and nodded to himself. 

"Tell me if the swelling at your ankles get worse" he reminded, quickly jotting something on his board. "Chest pains can happen, so inform me if you find it hard to breath"

Mark nodded and watched as Ten walked out the door. Perhaps he could find a home within the walls, at least, until he was discharged. Hours seemed like minutes when you live in the hazy and confusing state Mark found himself in when he wakes up. A week passed just like that and Mark was capable of walking without reaching for support whenever nausea would creep into his head.

He had visited his friend's rooms throughout the week, and even made friends with Jisung who used sign language most of the time to avoid using is throat. Chenle would bring Chinese Food whenever he came for appointments, making sure they didn't starve from the bland food the hospitals served.

"Oh..." Mark scooted off his bed as he remembered that he was to meet Jaemin since the younger seemed intent on showing a new plushie Jeno had bought him when the latter had gone out for an outing. 

The walk was rather far and nurses who walked past him scanned him like lasers to make sure he looked alright. Mark made sure to walk as straight as possible while pulling his IV. He didn't want somebody to suddenly come and lift him into a wheelchair. It would make him look weak.

"Finally" he breathed as he neared the room.

The door was opened, much to his surprise but he didn't feel any bad vibes coming from the room. That was until he stepped inside and heard the screaming.

He had never seen Jaemin without a smile that was as bright as the sun. He radiated good vibes and spread his uwu culture around, protecting every heart he saw, and making everyone love him in return. Mark had never seen the extent of leukemia.

Jaemin was kicking at his bed sheets, face scrunched up in agony as he screamed and whimpered and choked on his sobs. He was being held down by three doctors and was holding onto Jeno so hard, his knuckles turned white. Jeno was trying to cal him down, saying words of comfort and raking his hand through Jaemin's hair. Jaemin was crying, now, screams reduced to small cries of pain as the medicine finally kicks in an takes away he burning pain in his body.

Mark just stood there, frozen in place with a hand over his mouth before Ten finds him and slowly pulls him away from the scene. Ten told of the chemotherapy, the poison that was pumped into Jaemin in order to kill the cancer. Using pain in order to fight pain. 

You shouldn't fight fire with fire...kinda ironic at the moment.

When he arrives at his room, he lays in his bed, claiming to be too tired before pretending to sleep. He hears Haechan walk in and sit on his bed, the sound of him dialing a number using his phone and the soft whispers pleading for a certain someone to pick up.

He hears the beep of voicemail and Haechan saying in a hardened voice

_"I hope you're feeling great leaving me to rot in here. Stay over there for all I care, and never come back"_

* * *

The following week, Mark was asleep on his bed after Taeyong left on a rainy night. He was distantly worried since Taeyong only owned a motorcycle and had not brought a raincoat with him. It was one of those days where he didn't need the dialysis machine, and the world was in HD again. 

Mark was awoken by the sound of a heart monitor beeping way too fast.

His eyes snapped open and he lifted himself partly from the bed to look over at Haechan. The younger had both hands at his throat, face scrunched in the effort of battling the blackness that was threatening to swallow him up. His eyes were open and filled with tears, instantly fixing themselves on a terrified Mark. Saliva trickled from his mouth, mixed with blood. A high pitched sound came with every inhalation and every exhale was cut short by coughing. 

It was the first time Mark saw fear in them, the true fear of dying.

Haechan couldn't breathe.

Mark pulled himself out of his fear trance and pressed the 'help' button, leaping out of bed to hold Haechan's hand as the younger shivered from the pain in his chest and spat out blood he coughed up. 

"Breathe...Hyuckie....breathe!!!" Mark said in a soft but tense voice. "You're not gonna die, not now."

Doyoung ran inside accompanied by three other nurses and a doctor. Ten pulled Mark back to his bed, telling him that it was going to be alright, that Haechan was going to be fine. It all sounded muffled as Doyoung pressed a respirator over Haechan's face and the Haechan tilting his head upwards in an effort to get himself breathing. They rolled him away, leaving Mark in Ten's arms, persistent tears running down his cheeks.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter. I enjoy comments a lot so be sure to leave some! You can ask for some scenes and I'll try and add them!


	4. We are survivors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark starts to learn to accept the pain, heal, and repeat

"Hyung, I'm fine. Stop worrying" Haechan's voice was soft and sounded airy. "It wasn't your fault."

Mark looked down at his hands, not being able to bear the sight of his friend. Haechan's eyes were tired, dark circles under them. His skin was strangely pale and he didn't seem up for anything. Every move he made spoke of the effort he had made to keep alive, to keep breathing the night before. 

It reminded Mark of everything he was fighting for. Everything they were fighting for. To live, to smile, to breathe. He was starting to see the reality he was living in, see past the masks of joy his friends hid behind. 

"You're probably tired" Mark spoke and gently kissed Haechan's forehead. "You should rest."

Haechan hummed in contentment before closing his eyes. It took a minute before the younger started snoring and Mark rose from the chair he was sitting in. He dragged his feet out of the room as a small voice in his head asked him where he was going.

"Jeno..." he replied. Jeno was probably out of his room so Jaemin could use the toilet when he wanted too. Mark knew that there was no other place with closer toilet than a recreational room, and decided to look for him there.

He found him instantly, seemingly writing something at a table near the toilet. 

"Hey, you up for talk?" Mark greeted and was given an eye-smile.

Jeno was rather skinny, as his diabetes caused him to lose weight unintentionally,despite the boy having hunger strikes and thirstiness often. Despite that, he was pretty handsome.

"You must be worried about Haechan" Jeno guessed and Mark replied with comfortable silence. "There's no way he is going to lose. He's too stubborn for that."

Mark laughed dryly. "And how about you, Jeno? How are you holding up?"

Jeno was quiet for a moment, looking everywhere, at everything, to the point that Mark followed his gaze, as if trying to catch up with the younger boys thoughts.

"Jaemin is getting worse...and the chemo doesn't seem to be...it might not-" he got caught off by his own sobbing and Mark opened his arms to let the boy lean into his embrace. "Hyung...he might not make it. I'm so scared-"

Mark raked his fingers through Jeno's hair in a comforting manner. "I'm scared too, Jeno...I'm scared too"

* * *

 

As Haechan started his slow progress of recovery, Mark found himself in Jisung's room.

The boy was way younger than him, and was in a pretty sad state, with his swollen neck and all.

"Aren't there vaccines for diphtheria?" Mark asked and the younger rolled his eyes. "I mean, weren't you immunized?"

"You guess?" Jisung asked with a hoarse voice, wincing slightly. "How is Renjun-hyung?"

Mark had met Renjun the day before, as the younger was painting a portrait of them. He had watched as Renjun painted his hair blonde even though Mark had never dyed his hair before. 

He was trying to get his mind off the thought of his head being cut open. They were going to screw some sort of object into his head in order to fill up the hole in his brain that the tumor left.

"Kinda like Frankenstein" Renjun stated. "Only, way more cuter"

When Mark told Jisung, the younger had laughed and choked a second after. "When I get out of here, I'm going to play soccer with Chenle"

Mark smirked. "You seem excited to leave us behind"

"Am I?"

"Brat"

"I take that as a compliment thank you very much"

Talking to Jisung helped him take his mind of of the...scary things...that happened. Jisung was going to get out, Renjun was going to survive his surgery and get out...Mark hoped he would be able to follow.

* * *

The first time he encountered a fearing-death experience, Taeyong was there. Haechan wasn't.

His brother was reading a book to him while Mark curled into himself within his sheets. He had had headaches often and his chest pains were showing no signs of stopping. He was having a hard time breathing, but he dismissed it as a side effect of kidney failure.

Well, in a way, it was.

"Mark, your lips are turning blue" Taeyong said, putting down his book once realizing the whimpers coming out of Mark's lips. His face was scrunched up as he pulled the sheets up to his nose, as if he could hide from the burning in his chest, in his lungs.

The heart monitor beeped faster in warning, and Taeyong's hands fluttered all over Mark, trying to understand what was going on. Mark was crying softly as Taeyong gently pried his hands from the sheets, wheezing coming from his throat.

"Mark, tell me something, please!" Taeyong pleaded as he placed a hand on Mark's cold and clammy skin. "This isn't right!"

Taeyong slammed the 'help' button and kept on asking "What's wrong?!! Please, Mark!"

Mark...

Mark was drowning

His heart picked up its pace as he struggled with every breath,, trying to pull in as much air as possible. Anxiety thrummed in his veins as he coughed out pink froth which made him panic even more. He was suffocating. He felt as if someone had connected a hose to hsi lungs and was rapidly filling it with water. 

"H-hyung..." he managed to get out. "I c-can't breathe"

He was shaking and felt sudden realization that he was dying. There was something wrong in his body...and-

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE MARK LEE!!!" Taeyong yelled and Mark heard the pattering of feet accompanied by Ten's comforting voice.

"We'll take it from here. He's going to be fine"

Taeyong was guided out of the room as the doctor and nurses worked on Mark, trying to get him breathing. Taeyong stood outside for a moment before sitting down on one of those waiting chairs. He spaced out, trying to understand what on Earth had happened and why. He stayed that way until a small hand slipped into his, making him look up at the owner.

Haechan smiled a small, comforting smile and pulled Taeyong in from a hug.

Taeyong closed his eyes, carefully letting his emotions spill as he cried into Haechan's hospital gown. 

"He's going to be okay, you have to believe that" Haechan muttered. "As long as he has someone to fight for, he's going to live."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudo's and comments, I really appreciate them. I hope you're enjoying the storyline so far.


	5. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn.

"Pulmonary edema" Taeyong stated once Mark was lucid enough to ask questions. "Caused by your kidney failure. That's why you felt like drowning."

Mark's attack had passed by quickly and he had woken up after hours of sleep. Haechan was beside Taeyong, lips pouted. He looked relieved that Mark was awake, skin tone looking better than the last time Mark had seen him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, grinning. "Want Mama Hyuckie to make some soup?"

"What the-No!" Mark laughed, then coughed. "I'd get food poisoning"

Haechan deepened his voice and called out to an imaginary person behind him. "Honey, get my ladle!!!"

Mark laughed and was glad that Taeyong was, too. His brother's eyes were red rimmed and seemed puffed up. H had obviously been crying, making Mark feel guilty over the fact that he was the reason for it. Taeyong was tired enough balancing his jobs while making room to visit Mark. 

"Call the cops!" Mark cried in a shrill voice. "He is planning murd-Haechan?"

The younger's eyes had widened and was looking at something at the doorway. More specifically, someone. Mark flipped himself over to look at the tall and lean man who was stepping inside. His eyes were dark and his whole presence screamed 'model'. He wore what a T-shirt that seemed pretty expensive under a flashy jacket and had sunglasses hanging from his collar.

"Who's that?" Taeyong asked, looking at Haechan who was finally snapping out of his sudden shock. "Hyuck?"

"That's no one I know" he replied, face darkening. "At least, not now."

"Donghyuck, please!" the man pleaded as he walked forward. "I tried my best to-"

"To what?" Haechan looked up, whole body tense. "To run away from your problems? To fly to-where was it?- Chicago and pretend that you never had a family, never had a brother-"

"I can explain, just give me a chance-" The man begged but Haechan grabbed his IV and walked away, leaving him to stare at Mark and Taeyong who were watching the scene rather awkwardly. "Who are you?"

Taeyong scoffed. "My brother is on a hospital bed. Get a clue. The question is, who are you, and what did you do to make the Sunshine so angry"

The man straightened up and crossed his arms. "It's family business. And I'm Johnny."

Taeyong looked at him warily before shaking hands. "You seem...well off. I mean...I wondered why Haechan had no visitors."

"Haechan? Who's that?" Johnny asked, sitting on the said boys bed.

"The boy you scared off" Mark supplied, flicking his eyes between Johnny and Haechan's bed. "Um...are you related or something?"

"He's my brother, what do you expect?" Johnny shrugged and took off his jacket. 

There was a knocking on the door and Doyoung walked in, looking worried. When he caught sight of Johnny, he frowned. "I was wondering why Haechan was in Renjun's room."

"He can't be THAT upset!"Johnny said in a whining tone. "Should I go comfort him?"

"He's asking comfort because of you" Doyoung replied in a low tone. Mark had never seen Doyoung so protective of Haechan before. "I'm sorry, but your presence is upsetting him."

Taeyong looked at Mark and Mark nodded solemnly. He stood and pulled his IV as he walked away from his room and towards Renjun's room. When he arrived at the doorway, Haechan was hugging Renjun while Chenle rubbed his back.

"Haechannie? What's up with that guy?" Mark asked knowing a pathetic 'sorry' won't do anything. He walked and sat beside Haechan, pulling his IV near.  "He seems...off."

Haechan let out a low laugh. "That's my brother, Johnny. He's all I have now...but he's hopeless."

"A coward" Renjun supplied helpfully. "He ran away to America after their parents died in a car crash."

Chenle nodded and pulled Haechan close. "He drove the car that crashed and killed them. He must have felt guilty, but he never came back until now. That was...like...5 years ago?"

Mark looked over at Haechan, the pain in his face. How broken he looked. "That's not all, is it?"

"He got married to a woman over there. He forgot me. He's trying to move on by pretending I don't exist. When I call, he declines or doesn't pick up. Then out of nowhere, he shows up. After 5 tiring years, only now he plays the 'big brother' card." Haechan warbled, hands flying everywhere. "I have no idea why he's here. I can't trust him anymore!"

Mark pulled Haechan into a hug. That explained everything, from the way he insisted Taeyong make time to visit Mark and the way he got emotionally attached to Taeyong. The clingliness with the Dreamies and his determination. 

"We're your brothers, Haechan. We'll always be here for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I introduce you to Johnny, Haechan's brother!  
> What do you think Haechan should do in that situation? Should he trust his brother?


	6. Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's gonna die in this chapter so here's an early warning

"Yuta-hyung..." Jaemin whispered as his nurse checked his vitals, trying not to frown. "I'm not getting better, am I?"

Yuta looked at his patient, the bubbly boy who had greeted him with a wide smile whenever he walked in, and knelt down beside his bed. He intertwined his fingers with Jaemin's, a small smile on his face.

"We can keep hoping, Jaemin...maybe they'll be a miracle-"

"This is no miracle" Jaemin replied with a hoarse voice, a small stream of blood flowing from his nose. Yuta reached for a cloth to wipe it away, pursing his lips to stop a broken son from escaping his lips. "Not now, hyung."

His voice was cracking, as if he were suppressing tears. Yuta didn't want to cry in front of him, not when Jaemin was-

When he was _dying._

Yuta let the first few tears fall, bowing his head in attempt to hide them but Jaemin saw his tears, the way he saw everyone else's. The way he wiped them away and promised to buy a snack bar later on.

"It's okay, hyung" Jaemin's voice shook as he lifted his hand to wipe away his nurses tears. "I-I'll be fine. J-Just take care of J-Jeno for me? P-promise?"

His fingers felt so bony, so cold as if carved from ice. Yuta pressed Jaemin's hand closer to his cheek, holding on as if he himself were dying instead of Jaemin. It wasn't fair. It had been recovery and relapse and repeat, a painful cycle and _this_ is what Jaemin got? A life that went no farther than the hospital gates?

"I promise, Nana" Jaemin smiled at the nickname, wrinkles forming beside his eyes. "I'll be there for him, until he recovers."

* * *

 

That night, Jaemin woke up from his slumber, eyes wide and breaths coming in pants. He looked at Jeno who had slept on a chair with his head beside Jaemin's hand. Jaemin felt sudden panic seizing his veins and he was suddenly moving.

He kicked at his sheets, releasing his legs from the tangle, before slipping off his bed. His bare feet curled as it hit the cold ground, the sudden weakness attacking his bones making him grit his teeth. In a single motion, he ripped his IV out and took off, stumbling out the room and into the halls.

Jeno murmured in his sleep, fingers moving to grip Jaemin's hand. When it closed on nothing but cold air, Jeno's eyelids fluttered open. 

"Nana...?" He questioned and it took him half a second to realize that the bed was empty, and the IV was hanging. "Nana!?"

Jeno pressed the 'help' button and gripped his hospital gown tightly before Yuta rushed in, eyes wide. "Where's Jaemin?"

Jeno shook his head and both of them sprinted down the hallway. Sudden energy shot through Jeno's veins, the fear that Jaemin could be hurt, was probably hurt somewhere. 

"He couldn't have made it that far" Yuta muttered as they took a corner to the large entrance. It was dark but moonlight shone through the large glass doors. There, basked in the light, was Jaemin, sprawled on the floor.

He was _dragging_ himself forward, whole body shaking.

"Nana!" Jeno cried and rushed to the younger, flipping him onto his back and cradling his head in his large hands. "Why-?"

Jaemin's eyes filled with tears, his teeth clenched together as he spoke with a startlingly harsh voice. "I want to see the stars"

Jeno felt Jaemin's body shaking in his own as the younger pawed at his shirt in a desperate attempt to stay awake. "Please...Jeno-"

"He's too sick...he's probably not conscious" Jeno heard Yuta mutter to himself before looking at him. "Jeno, we need to-"

Yuta saw the hardness in his eyes, the pure desperation that flickered like fire. Jeno looked down at Jaemin who was sobbing into his chest and picked him up from the floor. Before Yuta could ask, Jeno was running towards the doors and pushing them open with his shoulder.

"Jeno!" Yuta called and ran after him. There was no stopping Jeno, who was squeezing out as much energy as possible to run with Jaemin in his arms, as he only thought of the words. 

"Jeno" Yuta repeated as Jeno fell to his knees on the open field where patients flew kites or had small picnics with their families. Jeno was panting, but shook his head in an attempt to get rid of the sudden fatigue in his head. 

"Look Nana. Look up." Jaemin called softly and Jaemin opened his closed eyes. Yuta collapsed to his knees right next to Jeno, by Jaemin's head. He gently adjusted the beanie on Jaemin's head. 

Usually, the city would outshine the stars, but there were more stars than usual in the sky. They had somehow known, Jeno thought, and had shone brighter for Jaemin.

"T-They're beautiful" Jaemin whispered, his eyes travelling to each and every one, a small smile on his face. "They're beautiful..."

Jeno held in a choked sob, bowing his head. "Yes...yes they are"

"They came out for you, Jaemin" Yuta said, mirroring Jeno's thoughts. "Just for you"

Jaemin moved his eyes away to gaze into Jeno's. They were shiny with unshed tears, but were filled with so much love. So much.

"I'm n-not scared" Jaemin smiled and Jeno felt Jaemin's body shake more violently. "I-I'm not alone. I have t-the stars, Y-Yuta hyung and I have y-you..."

Jeno inhaled sharply before forcing a smile on his face. He nodded his head. "You're not alone. We're right here"

Jaemin looked back at the stars, eyes constantly moving as if tracing an imaginary line from one star to another. "S-stay with me?"

"I'm right here" Jeno promised, hugging him tighter. "I'm right here"

Jeno watched as those eyes became shiny, and started to dull little by little. His breaths became shorter and more sharper, his eyelids dropping as if a weight had been placed on them.

"I love you" Jeno whispered into Jaemin's ear as he felt Jaemin's breath run out. Yuta was holding Jaemin's hand, two fingers right over his pulse. Jeno's could hear his heartbeat in his own ears. 

Jaemin's eyes were half closed, still gazing at the starry sky. 

"Jeno...he's with the starts now"

Jeno closed his eyes as he let the tears fall and drip onto Jaemin's cheek. With a shaking hand, he closed Jaemin's eyes and buried his face in Jaemin's chest. A broken sound ripped from his throat before he let out a wail that pierced the night. 

Yuta looked at his watch, inhaling a small breath. 

_11:11pm_

With barely hidden sobs, Yuta lifted Jaemin's body from Jeno's arms and slowly stood up, letting Jeno hold his shoulder for support. With heavy hearts, they made their way back into the hospital.

 

 

 

 

 

_"Jeno, are starts really the souls of the dead?"_

_"That's ridiculous, Nana, that would be so boring, just chilling and staying in one spot until-oh yeah-you die yet again"_

_"Then I'll be a shooting star"_

_"Why is that?"_

_"Then people can make a wish, and continue to hope."_

_"...that's cute"_

_"Oh really....ahahahaha~"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love comments and I hope I can receive your opinions on my fic!


	7. Healing or breaking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loss always comes with a cost.

No one complained when Renjun slept in Jaemin's bed every night, making sure Jeno cried himself to sleep before closing his own eyes. Everyone knew that Jeno would wake unexpectedly, sobbing Jaemin's name into his hands as Renjun hugged him from behind as if he could physically keep Jeno together.

Renjun's nurse, Sicheng, would find Yuta looking at them from the doorway before walking away, biting his lips and muttering to himself. 

Haechan was seen speeding on a wheelchair to Jeno's room once he found out and became the big spoon when things got tough to the point of exhaustion. Usually, Jeno's mood's would be unpredictable and he would throw his food at the wall, clutching his head in his hands while Renjun coaxed him to sleep.

Mark was at a loss. He poured his thoughts to Taeyong, how he feared the loss would rip Jeno apart and consume him whole. Taeyong cooked the best foods and brought them to Jeno's room once he heard of Jeno's hatred towards food despite his hunger strikes.

"Jaemin couldn't keep down a mouthful" he had whispered when Haechan begged him to tell what was wrong. "He couldn't eat without fearing the consequences"

He was in an emotional wreck for weeks to the point that his parents were called to help ease him out of the hole he had dug for himself. Mark had heard the quiet voices and the sobs and the same name repeated all over again. 

_"Jaemin wouldn't want you to do this to yourself"_

_"Jaemin loved it when you gained weight."_

_"Jaemin would eat everything he was given because he hated to hurt the ones cooking"_

Mark had had enough and ended up demanding Yuta to meet him, The elder had ended up avoiding Jeno's room like a plague, trying to forget in order to keep working. His smiles became insincere and he would look around when he was at the cafeteria because Jaemin had always been there, trying to get an extra bowl of rice for Jeno. 

"Please, don't let him waste away" Mark had begged when Yuta sat beside him during a tiring session of dialysis. "Please...I don't want to lose anyone else."

Mark looked at him with soft eyes were half closed from fatigue. His voice came out in weary breaths and Yuta was reminded of that painful moment he had _promised_ Jaemin to take care of Jeno. A promise that was almost swept away by the pain of loss.

Yuta walked with sudden will pulsing through his body to Jeno's room. Renjun was brushing Jeno's hair with his fingers while the latter hid himself within his sheets. 

"Rise and shine, sunshine" Yuta said softly, making the patient tense up. Jeno slowly pushed himself out of the cocoon to meet Yuta's eyes. "That's how Jaemin wakes you up, right?"

Understanding that it was a private moment, Renjun walked out the room, dragging his IV. 

"You didn't come to see me" Jeno stated, tears welling up in his eyes. "You didn't even think of my state"

Yuta hung his head low. "I-"

"I thought you had moved on" Jeno's voice became stronger, louder. "I thought you had forgotten him...forgotten me!"

"Jeno, I-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO SEE ME?!!" Jeno yelled, eyes blazing with sudden fury. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS?!!"

His hands were shaking, gripping his sheets in a tight hold. Yuta raised his head to reveal the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"I have no excuse..." Yuta finally said and Jeno seemed to deflate. "I have no excuse. I tried to forget the pain, to move on, but I couldn't. Jeno...do you know what I promised Jaemin?"

Jeno shook his head slowly.

"I promised to look after you. During his last days, he only thought of you, Jeno, that's how much he cared about you" Yuta gestured towards the uneaten food by his bed. "This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to see you recover. He wanted to see you _live_ " 

Jeno's bottom lip wobbled before he threw himself into Yuta's waiting arms and cried his heart out. He cried for every single regret he had and every single second Jaemin had wasted bedridden. 

"You will live for him, Jeno." Yuta promised. "Your heart beats for him also"

* * *

 

When Kun found Renjun's bed empty, his fist thought was to check Jeno's room. When he found Jeno and Yuta crying, he retreated awkwardly to the recreational room where Renjun spent most of his time doing art.

When the younger had been transferred at the young age of 13, Renjun had been a handful due to his tumor and his homesickness. Renjun was a young fighter and had gone through various complications. Kun had seen Renjun grow up within the loving arms of the group of kids called 'Dreamies' and enjoy the warmth of love alike to a parents.

"He's finally getting out" Sicheng said in chinese as he joined Kun. "It's been years."

"I'm worried how Jaemin's... passing affected him" Kun admitted softly. "He's always comforting that Jeno kid, but does he take care of himself?"

"He's the maturest kid I've ever seen" Sicheng replied, shrugging. "He reacts quickly and rationally, so don't be so worried. You're gonna give yourself a migraine."

"I think we deserve a day off" Kun smiled, rubbing Sichen's hair. 

"Don't get your hopes up"

* * *

 

"Are they crying?" was what Mark received once he set foot into the recreational room. 

Mark scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Yes...they are."

Renjun let out a low sigh as he added pink shades to his painting. It was a portrait of Jaemin with pink hair and a beautiful smile. He wore a scarf and a jumper, as if it were snowing. There was a fine set of white wings painted behind him, tinged with gold as if they were shining. Renjun's back was facing mark, giving him a clear view of the picture. It looked so realistic that Mark held in a choked sob.

"I'm assuming Yuta-hyung finally picked up the courage to talk to him" Renjun shook his head and dabbed white paint onto the canvas. "They're healing...that's good."

His voice was so calm that Mark felt shivers run down his spine. There was something wrong, something off about the situation. 

"Renjun-ah" Mark started but stopped once he saw Renjun's balled fists. After weeks of being the comforter, of getting frustrated over sleepless nights, of fearing his own death during the surgery that was to come, Renjun snapped.

He slapped the  paintbrush into the red paint and slashed at the painting, leaving a bright red line . He did it again and again, and Mark ran forward, gripping Renjun's hand only for the younger to use his other. Mark grasped the other hand desperately, despite Renjun's anguished yells of distraught.

"Don't! You're gonna ruin the painting!" Mark yelled as Renjun squirmed and thrashed in his grip. He kicked out and the canvas along with the stand came crashing down. He managed to lash out with one arm, sending the paints flying to the floor, splattering the canvas and ruining the portrait. "Renjun, your art!"

"Its just a picture!" Renjun yelled, not knowing that he was speaking a mix of korean and chinese. "He's gone and he's not coming back!. Mark, LET ME GO!!!" 

He pulled his wrists out of Mark's grip and flipped the table over, sending all his art supplies crashing to the floor. Mark cried out and wrapped his arms around Renjun's chest from the back and pulled the uncontrollable boy away from any other furniture he might destroy. Renjun was screaming words in chinese, rendering Mark helpless.

The door flew open.

"Oh God, Injunnie!!!" Kun cried out and pulled the boy from Mark's arms. He secured the boy's torso while Sicheng held his waist down, gasping at the pure strength coming from the boys limbs. 

Mark stumbled backwards and leaned on the wall for support as he watched the two nurses speak in Chinese to calm Renjun down. Their words were fast, slipping through the accent of Renjun's homeland, while their hands wiped his tears away and grasped his hand tightly. Mark had never seen Renjun look so distraught, so filled with the anguish of loss.

As Renjun's breaths evened out, Sicheng pressed his lips to Renjun's forehead before pulling away. Kun loosened his grip and let Renjun lean on him. His shirt was stained with paint from Renjun's hands.

"Renjunnie, are you okay?" he whispered as the boy relaxed in his.

Mark watched as Renjun's eyes dulled and his limbs went slack. His blank eyes gazed into Sicheng's as he forced out a terrified "Gege...help me"

Renjun's whole body tensed and his muscles seized. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as his whole body convulsed. Kun's eyes widened and Sicheng pointed at a pillow beside Mark. Mark passed it with shaking hands. 

Kun lowered Renjun's head onto the pillow and backed away, letting room for Renjun's seizure. His convulsions became more violent, gurgling and choking sounds emitting from his throat. His fists banged on the floor, his whole body shaking as if an earthquake was happening inside his body.

Sicheng made eye contact with a terrified Mark. "Don't worry, it's normal for him"

Normal did not mean less horrifying. A few minutes later, Renjun's convulsions became less, his eyes fluttering before his pupils reappeared, scanning his surroundings. When it finally stopped, Kun gathered Renjun in his arms, the patient looking confused and scared.

"You had a seizure Injun" Sicheng explained softly. "You were painting"

Renjun blinked a few times before his head lolled to the side and he fell asleep. Kun carried him out after sharing a look with Sicheng and the latter quietly tidied up the mess Renjun had made. Mark found himself slipping out and partly running to his room to collapse onto his bed. 

Haechan put down his manga. "Did something happen?"

Mark was quiet for a moment before looking back at his roommate. "We're gonna be okay, right?"

Haechan's gaze softened and he scooted out of his bed to slip into Mark's. He hugged Mark from behind, snuggling his nose between Mark's shoulder blades . He said nothing and Mark was happy with that. Slowly, he fell asleep, the sound of the heart monitor echoing in his ears.

 


	8. Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haechan doesn't know if he should resent his brother or cry in his arms.

Haechan coughed right after waking up one morning, his hands flying to his chest.

Johnny rose to his feet to brush Haechan's hair, a worried look on his face. Haechan curled into himself as the coughs wracked his body, not letting up at all. The sound of his inhale was harsh and his exhale seemed muted. Johnny lifted Haechan into a sitting position, patting his back awkwardly.

Once the coughs subsided slightly, Haechan shrugged Johnny shoulder away, eyes on his bed sheets. 

"Did you sleep here?" was the first thing he asked.

Johnny nodded. "I...didn't book a hotel yet"

"Don't bother." Haechan glared at him through weary eyes. "I don't want you here, so you can fly back to Chicago for all I care"

Johnny was taken aback, his hand hovering inches from Haechan's back. His voice was breathy but his tone was as sharp as a knife. "Hyuck, I'm not leaving you here. I care about you"

"If you care about me, where were you when I was going through treatment? Where were you when I woke up in the middle of the night screaming from the pain in chest? If you cared so much about me, you wouldn't have left my side!" Haechan yelled, only to be cut off my wheezes in between breaths.

Johnny shook his head. "Please don't do this to yourself. You're sick"

"Took you long enough to realize" Haechan replied bitterly. "Now that you're here, welcome to the second slot of this theater called 'Donghyuck's life'!"

Johnny grabbed Haechan's arm tightly, pursing his lips. "You're not going to talk about death like that"

"Why?" Haechan smirked and raised his eyebrows. "I'm gonna be dead sooner or later. Like Mum and Dad."

That struck a particular chord in Johnny. His mouth opened slightly in shock, eyes wide. Then, like a storm right after sunlight, his face darkened.

"We're not going to talk about them?" he said with a shaky voice. Haechan tilted his head in challenge. 

"Why? Is the guilt consuming you? I thought a few years in America would help you move on, but apparently not" Haechan said in a mocking tone. His eyes glinted dangerously. "Besides, who needs a family when you can make your own? Didn't think I'd find out, did you?"

Johnny's hand went up and connected with Haechan's face, the sound echoing throughout the room. Haechan's eyes were as big as saucers, his whole body frozen in shock from the slap. At the doorway, Taeyong was in a dilemma if he should let them sort things out or interfere. 

"I'm trying to help you, 'Haechan', if that's what they call you." Johnny seethed in anger, his fists clenched. He was out of his seat, eyes blazing in fury. "But despite everything, this is what I get in return. I shouldn't have come back out of pity. I should have left you here to rot and die within these walls! I should have skipped every birthday call and broken our promise."

He jabbed Haechan's forehead roughly. "You're not even going to continue our legacy. I will, so stop acting superior. You wanna die, so be it. GO DIE FOR ALL I CARE!!!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" Taeyong roared and pulled Johnny away from Haechan. He dragged him out of the room and to the hallway. He lowered his voice into a menacing tone. "That's not how you should talk to a sick person"

"He was asking for it" Johnny gritted his teeth. "It's none of your business"

"It is if it concerns the mental health of a patient" Taeyong replied. "He has cancer, for goodness sake! You abandon him and show up years later with a pathetic apology and expect him to react nicely towards you. That's not how it works, Johnny."

Taeyong's voice softened. "If you need time to think, you can stay at my apartment. I can get an excuse from work to cook."

"Wouldn't it be hard on you?" Johnny asked.

"It would, but Haechan can't bear to see you now. I don't think you're ready to see him either. We'll talk this over, later." Taeyong said, looking at the closed door. "Please...his friend passed away a few days ago, so don't make his mood worse."

Johnny sighed before nodding. "Why are you taking pity on me, anyway?" 

"Because-" Taeyong looked straight at Johnny. "-Haechan's not the only one who has been abandoned."

* * *

 

When Mark walked into his room after a sleepover at Jeno's room, he found Haechan burying his head in his knees and sobbing uncontrollably.  He wasted no time to climb onto the bed and tap him on the shoulder.

"I'm here" was all he said before Haechan buried his face in Mark's shoulder. There was no 'are you okay?' or 'It will be fine'. Haechan was not supposed to be this distraught. Something bad had happened, something that had broken the shield Haechan had built for himself.

"I don't know what to do, Mark-hyung" Haechan's voice was muffled and cracked. "What on Earth do I do?"

Mark shook his head, not quite understanding the situation. "What happened?"

"My hyung-" Haechan couldn't continue as new sobs wracked his frail figure. "I don't know what I should do"

Mark gritted his teeth and the thought of such a person hurting Haechan to the point of tears, how the person was supposed to be a mental anchor in the boy's life. "He's gonna meet my fist the next time I see him"

"He told me to _die_ , Mark-hyung" Haechan whispered. "He told me to die"

Mark pulled Haechan away and wiped away the youngers tears. Haechan was looking paler than usual, his whole appearance screaming 'fatigue'. "His opinion means nothing next to mine. I want you to live, Hyuckie. I want to run with you every morning at the park, build a snowman with you during christmas and attend the same school as you. I'll sleep over at your house and you'll sleep over at mine every weekend and we'll play games until early in the morning."

"But hyung-"

"No buts! We're gonna survive this, okay? We're gonna get out of here and be the best of friends until we have our own families and then our children will be best friends."

"That's really far, Mark Lee"

"The farther you imagine, the more you hope?"

"Probably"

Mark sighed and leaned forward to kiss Haechan's forehead. "Full sun...what a fitting name."

Haechan laughed and slapped Mark's thigh playfully. "You're making me embarrassed!"

"Good!"

"Why on Earth would that be good?"

"Means you're thinking of yourself and not other. Be gone the haters of the Sun!"

"The power of Sunshine compels you!"

Mark was happy seeing Haechan smile again and hoped that the days that came wouldn't make that smile waver. Haechan was truly beautiful when he smiled. When Haechan finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion, Mark slipped into his own sheets and picked up his phone. Taeyong had messaged him.

_Haechan's brother is staying in our apartment. Keep Haechan happy for me._

Mark frowned at the message. The bills would go up, no doubt, but Mark guessed Taeyong wanted to talk sense into Johnny. Taeyong had become extremely protective of Haechan over the past month. He was still thinking deeply when Ten came in to start the dialysis.

"Ten-hyung, you must have seen a lot of drama in the hospital" Mark said as Ten inserted inserted the needle. Mark winced. "Have you ever tried to interfere with any?"

Ten smiled and shook his head. "You can't help in a situation you know nothing about, Mark"

Mark's thoughts swirled around that sentence. Why had Johnny return, anyway?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I enjoy comments and kudo's!!!


	9. Depart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some heal and some deteriorate

As days passed, Mark found Haechan sleeping more often. He didn't walk out at random times like usual, just lay down and stare at nothing in particular. Mark guessed it was the sadness from Johnny's words, and made it his daily target to get him to smile at least once. He pranced around the room and did slapstick comedy in front of Haechan in the effort of making him laugh, much to his success.

"You're being ridiculous Mark Lee" Haechan commentd before letting out a dry cough. "But I like it."

Johnny didn't appear after the outburst, and Haechan seemed to withdraw from the world more and more. But there was still that glint of mischief and happiness in is eyes whenever he spaced out, as if he were remembering good things and Mark decided that was great.

A week later, Jisung and Chenle came barging into their room, much to Mark and Haechan's shock.

"You're...not in quarantine" Mark stated and Jisung rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, because I'm getting out of here, man!"

Their eyes widened and Mark pulled Jisung in for a hug. His voice sounded really good without the scratchiness. Haechan opened his arms and Jisung went into them gratefully. Haechan whispered his congratulations in Jisung's ear, making the younger laugh out loud in response. Then, Jisung pulled away, taking Haechan's hands in his own.

"Are you alright, hyung?" 

Haechan nodded and smiled widely, though a hint of weariness still lingered behind it. "It's just one of those days."

 _Yeah, but its been going on for a week_ Mark thought, frowning slightly. He looked over at Chenle with a grin. "I guess its time for you guys to play soccer"

"Jisung's gonna sleep over at my house tonight! My Mum's gonna cook up something good."

"You better leave some for me, or else-" Haechan threatened but it didn't reach his smiling eyes. "I heard Renjun's gonna have his surgery soon, too"

Chenle nodded, raking a hand through his hair. "Its kinda bothering him, but he'll be out soon, too. Jeno's on the road to a stable health."

"Does that mean I'm left with Mark?!!" Haechan looked horrified, but laughed a second later. "Brats...you better buy me a bed when I get out of here."

Mark scoffed and slapped Haechan playfully. "I'm here until some dude gives me kidneys."

"Might be a girl, though" Jisung offered, shrugging .

"I'm gonna shove spinach into your mouth, boy!" Mark glared at Jisung who clung to Chenle for support as he erupted into laughter, which wasn't a good idea because Chenle was laughing twice as hard. "You'll have no idea if its a girl or a boys."

"Maybe you'll get more girly???"

"What the-thats not how it works Lee Donghyuck!!!"

"Ooh, pulling out the full names are we, Mark Lee?"

Jisung and Chenle giggled in contentment at the bickering an Mark swelled with pride at the sight of Haechan finally being more in reality than whatever is in his head. 

* * *

 

"There is bleeding in his lungs" Doyoung explained softly to Taeyong as they stood outside Haechan and Mark's room. "The tumor is spreading to his bones, and he's experiencing extreme fatigue. I'd say he has two months at best before the burden of the tumor might be too heavy to bear. I can't specify when, so always be prepared."

Taeyong inhaled heavily, a rock seemingly sinking in his stomach. "Okay...I'll be there for him."

As Taeyong turned to walk away, Doyoung reached out to grab his wrist. Their eyes met and Taeyong found the mask of solemness the nurse had worn had shattered, a vulnerability alike to a childs replacing it. "I wanted to ask...why do you care so much for him when his brother doesn't?"

"His brother cared, I know it, but doesn't seem to accept his faults and why Hyuck is pushing him away. I'm trying to talk some sense into him, while caring for Donghyuck"

"But why?"

Taeyong slipped his hands out of Doyoung's grasp. "Because I know how it feels to be abandoned and neglected, and Mark does too."

* * *

Haechan's eyes wandered to Taeyong as the older by sat beside him. His limbs felt like lead and his eyelids felt as if weights had been hung on them.  There was a splatter of scarlet on his pillow from the coughing fits he had had while sleeping. 

"Hyung~" Haechan greeted and raised his hand to touch Taeyong's cheek. Taeyong pressed Haechan's hand closer, taking in the warmth. "If you keep this up, Mark's gonna be jealous."

Taeyong shrugged. "Well, he's had me for years, so he'll live"

Haechan let out a breathy laugh, inhaling deeply before speaking. "I wish I had a brother like you. I wish I was adopted into your family and grew up with you and Mark by my side."

"Mark was a little tornado when he first came" Taeyong said, laughing at the memory of the bright eyed baby he held in his arms to lull to sleep. 

"Tell me about him" Haechan pressed.

Taeyong looked over at Mark's sleeping figure before scooting closer to Haechan. "He could only fall asleep in my arms, so I'd be called from doing my homework just to get him to shut up and sleep. He liked burying his face into people's stomachs even in the public. He'd fall asleep just by laying my chest, and would cry when someone picked him up."

"He seems clingy to you" Haechan commented.

"Still is" Taeyong made a face at Mark's sleeping form. "He's still a baby to me"

"A Canadian baby" 

"About his whole Canadian identity" Taeyong went on. "His real parents named him Mark, but my parents wanted a korean name for him and gave him one, but he never responded to the name even as a baby."

Haechan's eyes lit up in wonder. "What's his korean name?"

"Lee Min-Hyung" Taeyong replied, laughing softly. "He'd wave his little fists and give them this glare. So cute."

Haechan looked up at the ceiling. "I sometimes see my parents when I look at Johnny-hyung."

Taeyong fell silent at the mention of Haechan's brother. "Do you not look like them?"

"I don't really resemble them, just a little on the eyes and the mouth. Johnny-hyung has my dad's face and my mum's smile." Haechan closed his eyes. "Then I remember the accident. They didn't stand a chance, died on the spot."

Taeyong had no idea how to respond to that, so he brought up a question. "Johnny mentioned a promise between both of you."

"A childhood promise" Haechan opened his eyes once more and looked at Taeyong. "We used to argue a lot, so we promised each other to never fight, never ignore and never hate each other when one of our birthdays come up. Every year, Hyung would only answer my calls and messages during my birthday. He'd act so nice, and I'd be nice because thats the unbreakable promise we made. Now I know...he acted the whole time. He said it himself. He never missed me."

Taeyong reached to pull Heachan into a hug. "I'm your brother too, an unofficial one. When you get out of here, you can stay with us."

"Really?"

"Promise"

A few feet away, Mark's lips curled into a smile.

* * *

 

He woke up to screaming.

Mark snapped awake and pulled himself upright and off of his bed. Taeyong was by Haechan's side, holding the younger down from flailing and ripping out his IV. He looked terrified and yelled to be heard over Haechan's screams of agony as his insides churned and his bones burned. There was a wildfire inside his body, spreading to his limbs and shooting through his veins.

"IT HURTS!!! HYUNG, MAKE IT STOP!!! PLEASE!!!" Haechan begged once Taeyong was in his sight. His hands were shaking violently and his breaths were coming in sharp intakes.

He was coughing and coughing, red staining his sheets and dribbling down his chin. His teeth were clenched in pain, while his face was scrunched up by the sheer agony that had taken over his body.  

Mark ran and pulled Haechan into his arms, letting the younger lean his head on his chest. Haechan's eyes fixed on Mark, pleading him to do something, to keep him safe from his cancer. To save him from what felt like millimeters from dying. Mark held him close, rocking him back and forth rhythmically despite the tremors going through the boys body.

He held Haechan's trembling hands tightly in his own, whispering words of comfort in his ear as nurses swarmed the room with a doctor. Painkillers made their way through the IV tube and into Haechan's body, taking what seemed like forever to finally kick in.

Haechan's breaths evened and his eyes became distant.

"You're okay, Hyuckie" Mark promised as Haechan slowly fell asleep. 'You're okay"

But when Mark met Ten's eyes, he knew that was a lie. Haechan wasn't going to get better.


	10. The Sun has set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haechan's birthday

_Happy Birthday to Haechan, Happy Birthday to you~_

The room erupted into applause as Haechan blew out the candle on his birthday cupcake. He was still bedridden, but his eyes glowed with positive energy that sent a buzz of enthusiasm through Mark. All the Dreamies and their nurses along with Taeyong were surrounding Haechan's bed with party crackers in their hands, still still smoking slightly. Occasionally, random nurses and doctors would peek in and say their birthday wishes. Well, Haechan was indeed popular in the hospital.

"I got you Chinese food!!!" Chenle yelped and carefully arranged the bowls on the table. "You have to try some! Renjun-hyung, its your favorite!!!"

It was good seeing Renjun smile, since the worry of his upcoming surgery had bothered him on a daily basis. When Jeno announced that he was getting discharged soon, the whole room cheered as they celebrated yet another recovery of a patient. 

"You get that weight up, young man, and I won't have to stalk you when you walk down the hallway" Yuta nagged as he scooped another spoonful of rice into Jeno's mouth. 

"That goes to you, too" Ten shot a look at Mark, who laughed in response while biting into his sixth slice of watermelon.

Haechan looked warily at his bowl, covered with meat and vegetables cooked by Chenle's mum. She had been keen to make it as nutritious as possible. It was evident that his weight had gone down and that his appetite had left him long ago. 

"At least a spoonful" Doyoung whispered in his ear and Haechan gave a loud sigh. He couldn't disappoint Chenle now. Resentfully, he forced down one spoon of rice with soup, making sure Chenle saw. The younger whooped in happiness while fist bumping Jisung.

Mark looked over at Haechan and passed him half a slice of watermelon. "It's good"

"Yeah, I know" he replied hoarsely and nibbled neat crescents at the end. His eyes lingered a second too long at his phone, waiting for the usual birthday message Johnny sent during his birthday. When Mark realized this, he slid into Haechan's bed and gently let him rest his head on his shoulder.

"Maybe he's still asleep. Our bed is awesome"

Even at the failed attempt at humor, Haechan giggled and nodded, trying to appreciate the celebration and forget about Johnny. Jeno was eating enthusiastically, Yuta shoving more rice in his already full mouth. Chenle and Jeno were dicussing about soccer to Sicheng and Ten, hands colourful with gestures. Renjun was eating quietly while Kun talked to him in Chinese, Doyoung pretending to understand and nodding his head whenever he felt like Kun made a correct statement. Taeyong was fretting about the mess and insisting on getting a broom and perhaps some frebreeze.

* * *

 

That evening, Mark walked into his room to find Haechan laying on his side, pressing his phone in distress. 

"Is he picking up?" was what Mark asked. Haechan turned around to look at him, eyes brimming with tears. Gently, he helped Haechan sit up, watching quietly as the call went to voicemail for what seemed like the 20th time.

"He broke our promise" Haechan whispered, eyes downcast. "He doesn't ignore me on my birthday"

Mark pulled Haechan into a tight hug as the younger bawled his eyes out. "Maybe his phone ran out of battery or fell in the gutter"

"My message was blue ticked...and he could have come over to see me" Haechan sobbed with a hoarse voice, breaking into a fit of coughs. Mark gently patted his back to subdue them. He felt dampness on his shoulder. "He broke our promise, Mark, he doesn't care anymore. He wants me dead!"

"No....nonono" Mark comforted in a hushed tone. "He doesn't. No one wants you dead, Hyuckie. You're our full sun"

From the doorway, Taeyong watched with a pained expression, teeth gritted in anger. He whipped around and walked away, his steps large and heavy as he thought only of the man currently staying in their apartment and how upset he had made his brother. His hands were steel hard on the wheel, curses muttered under his breath as he drove full speed down the road, only to be stopped by traffic.

When he finally arrived two hours later, it was already night and Johnny had ended up spacing out on their sad excuse of a sofa after a day of doing absolutely nothing.

"If this is about my brother-" he began as Taeyong slammed the door shut in anger. He didn't finish his sentence because Taeyong had stomped up to him and landed his palm on his cheek, hard.

"You selfish-" a string of painful-to-hear words fell from his lips. "-What are you so mad about?!! He's devastated on his birthday and you're not helping him!"

Johnny was frozen from the impact of the slap, eyes as wide as saucers. 

Taeyong jabbed his chest. "I'm kind enough to let you stay here, after what you've done to my brothers friend. If you neglect your family, then why come back here at all?!!"

Johnny finally snapped out of his paralysis and turned his sharp eyes to Taeyong. "How about you mind your own business? It's my family, not yours!"

"Family? FAMILY?!! A real sibling wouldn't treat his family like this! You only care for yourself!!!" Taeyong yelled back, eyes blazing in anger. " What are you so scared of?!! The kid can't even get out of bed, and he's lost pounds since the last time you saw him!"

Johnny gritted his teeth and took Taeyong by the shoulders, shaking him hard. "Stop it! Shut up!"

"I won't!" Taeyong replied daringly, chin raised in challenge. "Until you tell me why"

Johnny faltered, hands dropping and head hung low. "Fine, I will. But not now"

"Then when? Tomorrow? Next year? You can't run from the truth, Johnny"

When Johnny raised his head, Taeyong saw pain in his eyes, a pain that made him look older. "Then I'll tell you now."

* * *

 

Mark woke up in the middle of the night, sitting up with enough speed to send a strained pain up his spine. There was something wrong.

He glanced over at Haechan's bed and realized it was empty, not even a blanket on it. The door was open, and Mark saw a shadow stretch on the floor outside. Quietly, he slipped out of his own bed and dragged his IV outside, to find Haechan sitting on one of the waiting chairs just outside their room, a blanket over his shoulders. Mark marveled at the fact that Haechan had been able to walk outside without any support other than his IV.

His phone was clutched in his hand, the time reading 11: 56pm with the complete picture of the Dreamies on the lock-screen. It was obvious that he was waiting for Johnny to come and see him, minutes before his birthday ended.

Mark didn't speak, and only walked to sit right beside him, inching closer as the cold night air brushed his bare skin. Haechan looked up at him with tormented eyes that spoke of years of pain and fighting. 

"You came" was what he said.

Mark opened his mouth to answer, but the next words that came from Haechan's mouth had him frozen.

"I missed you, _Johnny-hyung_ "

* * *

 

Johnny found himself in shotgun of Taeyong's car, hands fiddling with his phone. Taeyong's grip on the wheel made his knuckles turn white, as he focused on driving as fast as he could.

"We're running out of time" Taeyong muttered to himself as he glanced at the clock. "We won't make it"

Johnny had confessed that their parents death had made him feel sickened, leading him to run away from his kin and settle in Chicago with a pal named Jaehyun. He had tried to forget Haechan in an attempt to forget what he did, and how guilty he felt. His existence felt like a curse, especially with Haechan dying, so he avoided him like plague. Years past, and he made a family with Jaehyun's sister, only to for their only child to die from some illness that could not be cured.

They had a divorce and Johnny had thought it was karma for what he did back in Korea. He tried to forgive himself by taking care of Haechan, who rejected him instantly, causing him to break down and let out his anger at Haechan. 

"If you want to receive forgiveness, this is the only day you will get it." Taeyong had stated, picking up his keys. "We have to go see him, now."

"What if he doesn't forgive me?" Johnny had asked, running after him. 

"Then that's your own fault."

Time was ticking, and they had kilometers before they reached the hospital. Johnny never knew how far Taeyong had to drive just to see Mark. He realized that was how siblings should love each other, to the point of enduring anything.

"I wish Hyuck had been born in your family" Johnny admitted quietly. "You're a great brother"

"My brother died in my Mum's womb." Taeyong replied in a tight tone. "Mark's adopted."

Johnny fell silent once again.

* * *

 

Mark froze like a statue before his arm snaked to intertwine his fingers with Haechan's, the younger gripping back tightly. He said nothing, scared to break the illusion that Johnny had come, when he had not. It was better that way.

"I forgive you, you know, for leaving me" Haechan spoke in a hoarse and tired voice, yet etched with such love that it made Maek feel guilty. "I shouldn't have talked to Dad while he smoked, even though you told me to distance myself when he did."

Haechan lifted his eyes to meet Mark's, even though he saw Johnny's. "When I was in pain, I'd use to scream your name although many would yell for their Mum. That is how much I love you, hyung, and I hope you forgive me."

His eyes searched Mark's and Mark nodded, holding in the tears welling up in his eyes. 

"When I get of here, lets play at the field where we planted the morning glory's. They must have grown by now. I want to learn to fly a kite again, I forgot how to. I want to run and chase you until we end up at the bridge where we watched the sun set when we were younger. But I'm much too tired to do that now."

Mark didn't dare to say a word, and only nodded stiffly, sniffling and blinking rapidly. Haechan leaned his head on his shoulder, pulling his blanket tightly over his shoulder.

"Let's go home, hyung"

Mark raised his hand to rake his ringers through Haechan's hair as the youngsters breaths slowly evened out before hitching. In his head, a lullaby played out as Haechan slowly fell asleep right next to him. He heard the exact moment Haechan's breaths grew shorter and shorter, small wheezes escaping his lips.

And he heard the moment his breathing stopped.

The clock stuck 12 and his birthday was over.

* * *

 

Johnny ran into the hospital, slamming open the doors. Taeyong was sight behind him, following with dead tired eyes and uneven breaths. When they turned a corner, they caught sight of Mark, sitting on one of the waiting room chairs, IV  by his side.

"Mark? What are you doing out here?" Taeyong asked but the younger didn't respond. When they walked closer, hey realized that Haechan was right beside him, asleep, bosy so small that it was hidden behind Mark's.

"Mark?" Taeyong asked again, a chill running up his spine from the lack of response.

The dull eyes did not move from being fixated on the wall opposite him.

"You shouldn't be so loud" he spoke with a shockingly calm voice. "You might wake him up."

Johnny rushed forward to kneel in front of Haechan. He patted Haechan's cheek lightly.

"Hyuckie, I came. I'm late, I know, but I'm here now...please wake up"

Taeyong watched as a single tear fell from Mark's eye, and realization hit him. Slowly. he slid his fingers on Haechan's wrist, the way he did it so many times to Mark, and searched for a pulse. There was none. When he made eye contact with Johnny, he shook his head.

Johnny moved to find a pulse at Haechan's neck but the movement caused Haechan's head to slide off of Mark's shoulder and his body to fall right into Johnny's arms. Johnny's yes widened as he carefully laid Haechan over his legs, pressing his hand to his forehead, his cheek.

"You're so cold, why are you so cold?" Johnny's voice cracked and he buried his head in Haechan's chest, heaving sobs racking his body. "I'm so sorry...I should have come sooner. I'm sorry, so please come back. Let me apologize! Please!"

Taeyong pulled Mark into his embrace, stroking his hair lightly.

"He waited" Mark whispered in Taeyong's ear. "He waited but he never came. He...he hallucinated and thought I was his brother. He thought he was with him before he-"

Mark ailed into Taeyong's shoulder and Taeyong hugged him tighter. Johnny could only clutch Haechan's body close to his own, fingers sliding over his tinted-blue lips and pale skin. A thousand apologies fell from his lips as the moon glowed sadly, surrounded by a scatter of stars.

The sun had set, finally.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really like to hear about your opinions on this chapter. Sorry about killing Haechan in this chapter, but you must have foreseen this in the earlier chapters, right? Don't worry, there will be more chapters to come since we still have Mark, Renjun and Jeno in the hospital. Thank you so much for reading this!!!


	11. Tracing constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They learn to move on

"Mark? Mark?" 

Mark did not look up from his bed sheets. He did not want to look at the empty bed beside him, now newly changed and no longer bore the messiness Donghyuck had had. He did not want to look up and see Johnny burying his face in the pillow, as if he could take in the last of Donghyuck's scent. He did not want to look up and watch some nurses come and go, tears in their eyes.

Taeyong sighed and put down the bowl of soup in his hands.

"Mark, I need you to be strong, okay? You can't keep going on like this" he spoke gently, watching as tears leaked out of Mark's eyes and dripped onto the sheets. "Haechan wouldn't want you to be so sad. He's probably somewhere up there joking about you being a crybaby"

That was the problem. He was up there and had left Mark on Earth.

"He thought I was his brother" Mark whispered weakly and bowed his head. "I couldn't bear to make him think...to take away the hope that-"

He buried his face in his hands, sobbing loudly and Johnny walked out of the room, shrugging on his coat. As he passed through the door, Jeno came in, wearing normal clothes and out of his hospital ones. His eyes were bright but were glazed over with mourning.

"Mark, I'm getting out" he spoke with surprising gentleness and sat beside the latter, hands long enough to wrap around the older. "I'm getting out, and you will to"

The boy radiated heat, a good sign that he had gained weight. Mark leaned into that heat, the way he leaned into Donghyuck's, and closed his eyes.

"Was it hard when Jaemin went?"

Jeno blinked furiously, fighting away the sobs. "I-It was, hyung...I...was a mess. I met Jaemin's parents and told them he'd been able to see the stars before he went. They were happy that he was able to experience joy before the angels took him."

Mark looked out the window, at the bright Sun.

"Maybe he's the sunlight that shines over you everyday. Maybe he's that one bird that chirps every morning to wake you up." Jeno pointed outside. "Maybe he's none of those, but a guardian angel looking down from the sky. There are many stories of what happens after you die."

With newfound calmness, Mark looked at his brother and smiled. "Maybe it's time to move on, hyung."

Taeyong sniffled before nodding, his eyes welling with tears. Jeno looked out the door before tapping Mark's shoulder.

"Renjun's surgery is scheduled this evening, I think" he said hurriedly. "Maybe you should visit him."

"Oh really?" Taeyong looked at Mark. "Well, we should send him our best wishes"

* * *

 

Renjun played with his fingers as Kun went over what they were going to do once again.

It always terrified him, being under the knife. He had always feared Death, and the blood that was sure to spill from his head, maybe? The brain was precious, Renjun knew that by heart, and they had to have it fixed before it truly took him away.

"You called your Mum, right?" Sicheng asked and Renjun nodded, still fiddling with his fingers.

"They're gonna come at night, during the surgery"

Renjun hadn't seen them for a long time, and he longed to bask in those arms. A week before, he had lost yet another friend by the name of Lee Donghyuck. It seemed that Death took those who suffered the most.

"Hyung, can I ask you to do something important?" Renjun asked, raising his eyes.

Kun leaned forward. "Anything for you, Injunnie"

"Can you run one last test on me?"

* * *

 

When Mark visited Renjun, the boy looked considerably happier, as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Ready to get out of here?" He joked and Renjun laughed.

"Well, someone has to get out of here in the end" Renjun raked a hand through his hair and sighed. "But Jeno beat me to it, didn't he?"

Mark looked at the sky. "Nope, Hyuckie already had him beat. He's been free for days now."

Renjun followed Mark's gaze to the sky, where birds were flying. "It must feel great to be free"

"Sure" Mark looked back at Renjun, concern in his eyes. "Are you okay, Renjun?"

Renjun gave him a side smile, shrugging. "I may or may not be leaving you a present after the surgery."

"Well, what is that supposed to mean?" Mark asked but Renjun shrugged again.

"Wish me luck, hyung"

* * *

 

Mark talked with Jeno all night, joking that they were picking up on Renjun's nerves.

They talked of Donghyuck and Jaemin, how they'd both be laughing their heads off in Heaven while waiting for them. They shared the best memories and the worst, leaving a bookmark in their minds so they would never ever forget their time together.

"Before you came, these idols would come and greet us in the hospital." Jeno explained, his eyes twinkling. "The nurses and doctors would always find a way to get Hyuck to sing, even though he had lung cancer."

"The idols must have been worried" Mark commented and Jeno laughed.

"You should have seen their faces when they saw him walking with no wheelchair, but a breathing tube and tank. God, they looked like excited parents" Jeno rolled his eyes and the memory. "Jaemin was pretty popular. He made it to the cover of a magazine 'cause he's handsome."

Mark scoffed. "Yah, you must have been in the magazine too"

"On the next page" Jeno chuckled and Mark hit him on the head.

* * *

 

In the surgery room, the atmosphere was tense.

"Scalpel"

"Here"

A hand pressed on the skin of the boy currently motionless under his touch. The doctor looked at Renjun's face for a long time, the gentle features and the curved lashes. He was a truly beautiful boy. 

"We have to do this as careful as we can."

* * *

 

The door burst open.

Jeno and Mark looked up at Taeyong who was panting, eyes wide and a big smile on his face.

"Mark, I have good news, Really good news"

Mark's eyes widened as something blossomed his chest. Could it be? No way could it be...

"They found you a donor, and you're gonna go in for surgery next morning"

Jeno whooped and held Mark tight in his arms. Mark's eyes welled up with tears and he began to cry tears of joy. He was going to get out of the hospital, and he had been waiting for less than a year. It was truly a miracle for him to find a donor so early.

"Hyung, are Mum and Dad coming?" Mark spoke up and he was met with long silence.

"They're gonna be there when you wake up, I promise" Taeyong smiled and patted Mark's head. "You've been really patient Mark, and now this is what you've been waiting for. No more machines and no more tubes. You're gonna be able to run, Mark."

It would be a lie to say Mark did not cry like a baby that night, because he  did. Mark could literally feel the warmth of Donghyuck's smile on his back.

* * *

 

Taeyong had been pacing nonstop for an hour and Johnny was feeling nauseous just looking at him.

The moment Mark had been wheeled in a thousand worries had plagued his mind, playing tricks and giving him a hard time basically.

"It's okay, Taeyong, Mark's a strong kid"

Taeyong stopped in his tracks, sighed, and sat down beside Johnny with a heavy thump. "I'm just so scared that he'll leave me, like-"

He stopped and looked at Johnny wit regretful eyes. Realizing this, Johnny shook his head and held Taeyong's hand tightly.

"My brother had waited too long or me. You've been there since the start. Mark would never leave you behind"

Taeyong did not answer, only stared at their intertwined fingers. "He would want to be with Donghyuck."

"And Donghyck would kick him out of Heaven and back down to Earth if he saw him." Johnny stated receiving a small laugh from Taeyong. "He's unique that way"

"We have unique brothers" Taeyong sighed. Then, a doctor came out with Ten, nodding and holding a clipboard. "Here for Mark Lee?"

Taeyong jumped to his feet along with Johnny. "Y-Yes"

The doctor smiled and Ten hugged Taeyong tightly in his arms. "He made it. The surgery was successful"

Taeyong cried there and then, Johnny sobbing with him. Ten nodded, smile not leaving his handsome face. "But...we never knew the donor"

Just then, a couple came up to them, in teary wreck but their eyes were full of gratitude. Beside there were Kun and Sicheng, also a teary mess but still managed to translate whatever the Chinese couple were saying.

"They show their gratitude for your brother, for being their for their son. They said that he had made the decision himself, and had probably known what would happen during the surgery"

Taeyong took a moment to piece two and two together. "S-surgery? C-could they be the parents of-"

Kun wrapped his arms around Taeyong's shoulders. "Renjun never made it out of surgery, but he gave his kidneys to Mark. He asked us to run a test before his surgery to see if they were compatible, and they were"

Renjun's parents offered their words of congrats before retreating somewhere else where they could mourn in peace.

* * *

 

When Mark opened his eyes, Taeyong's face covered his vision, hovering worriedly over his own.

"HE'S AWAKE!!!!" Taeyong yelled and there was cheering, before a loud shushed them.

"He's just been out of surgery" Doyoungs voice hissed and Mark let out a throaty laugh before he coughed. 

"W-Water"

A straw was placed between his lips and he sucked it gratefully. After a few second, he stopped and looked around, taking in all the faces that had helped him over the past few months. He scanned every single smiling face, but frowned.

"Hyung, where's Renjun?"

There was silence that filled the room heavily. Taeyong gave a small smiled and tapped his finger on Mark's stomach/.

"He's right here, Mark, he's right here"

_"I may or may not be leaving you a present after the surgery."_

Mark's eyes flicked around the room, focusing finally on Kun and Sicheng who were hanging onto each other. They both nodded their heads solemnly. Tears ran down his cheeks and Taeyong gently brushed the tears away.

"He wanted you to have them, Mark" Jeno spoke, his smile bringing his eyes up to crescents. 

"He's a good hyung, to the end" Chenle piped up, Jisung in his arms. "You're finally getting out"

Ten sat down by Marks' bed and held his hand. "It's time for you to continue your life, Mark. Renjun gave up his kidneys to give them to you. It's yours now"

"Then I'll live for him, and Jaemin...and Donghyuck" Mark nodded slowly, a smile appearing on his face. "Every minute and every second"

* * *

When Mark walked away from the hospital, hand in hand with his brother, he turned back for the last time.

He saw a boy with a bright smile, who wore a wool hat, talking with another boy who had the most beautiful eye-smile and kindness than shine through them.

He saw a small figure talking about soccer with wide gestures to a boy that lay behind plastic curtains, hands moving to replace the voice he couldn't bear to use.

He saw a small boy with a slender figure, his hands colorful as he brought beauty to the blank canvas in front of him.

And he saw a set of beautiful, focused on the sky as he spoke of the sky and the birds and the sun, his skin melanin under the sunlight. 

He looked away and walked to a future he now lived for three other people.

 

****_****End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of my story and I'm so happy you guys took your time to read it!!! Do comment because it really brings joy to me, and I hope all of you are patient while waiting for Full Sun's recovery. Bye~!


	12. Extra chapter : After

The field was wide, large enough for two teams of boys to play football and random kids to fly kites. The scene was calming, watching the parents chat with each other under shady trees, occasionally calling out to their children in support. 

Somewhere among the boys was Chenle and Jisung, yelling and cheering as their team took the lead. Chenle's parents talked with Jisung's in a friendly manner, talking of the old days when they met at the hospital. It had been a year since Jisung was discharged.

Mark chatted with Jeno under a short tree with a mix of branches and leaves wide enough to shade their outstretched legs.  Jeno was still going to the hospital, his diabetes incurable yet manageable, and Jeno had been given a place in Marks' school, thankfully. 

But the end of this story isn't just about them, actually.

"They seem happy, you know" Haechan smiled fondly at the Mark, nudging Jaemin with his arm. "We don't have to worry about them anymore"

Jaemin pouted, crossing his legs and letting them dangle off the edge of the tree branch. "I just don't want him to get sick again"

There was a comfortable silence before Renjun spoke up, his voice soft. "I guess there's no reason for us to hang around"

The three invisible entities exchanged glances, grinning at the fact that they were still together, whether still breathing or not. Time passed by and they became silent guardians, watching their frinds grow up while they remained static in age.

They had cheered when Jisung made it into the soccer team, yelling out with less hoarseness and spending most of his time with Chenle, learning Chinese and eating the food prepared without complaining about his throat. Renjun had laid beside Chenle when he and Jisung hugged each other in their sleep, brushing their hair even though they couldn't feel it.

Jaemin had been every single appointment Jeno went to, and would comfortingly hug him wen he took injections due to his glucose levels. He was there when Jeno introduced himself to his new class, and was there when Jeno had been praised for his short story of them, entitled "Within our time".  

Donghyuck was there every time Mark looked at the Sun and said "Good morning, Hyuckie" and would reply with "Good morning, Mark" without fail. He had sat beside him during his time producing music, and had sung the lyrics Mark wrote up for those who wanted them. He was proud with his friend, who had gone far.

"How's your hyung?" Renjun asked Haechan, making the younger look up. "Still with Taeyong?"

Haechan nodded, swinging his legs. "I guess...we didn't actually meet in the end...and I was with Mark."

"I saw you" Jaemin reminded, earning a smile from the latter. Don't worry, it seemed sweet"

Haechan let out a loud laugh of embarrassment. "Well, he's living with Taeyong now, and is working to help with the bills. Their parents are coming back soon, though, but they weren't there when Mark came back from surgery"

Renjun coughed uncomfortably, receiving a hug from Jaemin. "I was there during the whole surgery, ya know?"

"Yeah, since I woke up to your face" Renjun shrugged and they shared laughter again. "I'm not sure if I want to move on. I just want Mark to care for the last part of me that's functioning-"

Haechan rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Jaemin's shoulder. 'Well, we're both 100% nonfunctional, so-"

"I wasn't done yet" Renjun interrupted. "I'm gonna go where you guys go"

Haechan wrapped his other arm around Renjun, smiling widely. "It's been a year, so I think we can trust Mark to take care of your kidneys"

Jaemin let out a dramatic gasp. "TRUST Mark?!! Is the world ending"

They erupted into chuckles because Mark Lee would always be MARK LEE. 

Jisung made a goal and the three cheered and clapped loudly, though their voices were not heard. They disappeared and appeared again right beside Mark and Jeno who were sharing earphones to listen to a new beat Mark had produced.

"It kinda gives me the sentimental vibe" Jeno commented, eyes faraway. "It reminds me of them"

Mark looked at him in surprise. "Wow, you guessed right"

"Well, everything reminds me of them" Jeno shaded his eyes from the Sun. "Maybe we should let them go. Maybe in a different life, we would stay together forever and ever, grow old and have kids and pursue music, the thing that connects all of us. A world where we are not sick, and we celebrate each other like brothers"

The three spirits were quiet, waiting for Marks' answer. The elder laughed loudly, clutching his stomach.

"As if that's possible" he gasped between chuckles. " About letting go, the Sun is always in the sky, and I greet it every morning"

Jeno pointed at the disappearing light. "Well, Hyuckie is going to sleep now"

"No he isn't" Mark insisted. "He's just hiding but his light will light up the moon in his place. He lights me up every single day even when he's not here anymore"

Haechan sat beside Mark, leaning his head on his shoulder, whispering "I'm right here, Mark, but you'll never know. But you're right, it's time for me to sleep"

"For all of us to sleep" Renjun corrected, helping Haechan to his feet. " Look around, we won't see this again"

They were quiet, taking in the colors of the sky, the flying birds and their friends running to Chenle's parents. They watched them go, and exchanged knowing glances.

"Injun, Hyuck?" Jaemin spoke softly, catching the attention of the other two. "I'm kinda scared"

Renjun pulled them into a hug. "As long as we're togther"

"Together" they echoed and looked up at the darkening sky. 

Just like that, they faded away to start a new beginning somewhere else.

* * *

 

"Really, Mark Lee"

Mark turned around, aware if the fact that his back no longer hurt from age, as staight as a ruler. His head was full of hair and he seemed lighter, felt lighter. When he looked down, he was in his old hospital clothes, and there were six boys waiting for him, grinning.

Jaemin and Jeno and Jisung and Chenle and Renjun and...

Lee Donghyuck.

"Took you long enough," Haechan called, opening his arms. "Together?"

"Forever: came the reply and he ran into the boys' outstretched arms. "I missed you, Hyuckie."

"I missed you, Mark Lee"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this story, it means a lot to me! I'm sorry if you spilled tears reading this, or if it didn't meet your expectations. Don't forget to comment and give kudo's!!! Bye! With love~Skydancer8

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it for the first chapter. I enjoy kudo's but I love comments more since they give me motivation. Please let me know your thoughts about the first chapter so I can get myself hyped to write more. There will be more chapter to come.


End file.
